I have sixteen days left until my scheduled c-section. I am very, very pregnant. I am always tired and sometimes I'm also in pain. I feel very claustrophobic sharing the space inside me with a pretty much fully developed infant. To be completely honest, I do not want to be pregnant anymore. I still want my daughter to hang out and come on the planned day, but I'd really like it if the next sixteen days went by really fast.
At this point, I am taking all the Daily Vacations that I can simply because I need to do something to keep my mind off of my pregnant state. In recent days I've gone on lots of picnics with my 13 month old daughter, taken family walks after dinner, made many trips to the library (resulting in the reading of many books), visited the zoo, gone out for breakfast a few times, eagerly read through every magazine that has arrived through the mail, and have plans to visit the aquarium tomorrow. I keep doing every "want to" that comes my way, because I'm just too tired to do almost any "have to" right now and doing nothing makes me too focused on how I feel.
Just this past weekend, I began a "have to" project that turned into a "want to" that is really convenient at this moment in life. I was putting together a giraffe mobile from felt material for my new daughter's room (I did an elephant mobile for my 13 month old and wanted to do a similar one for her sister). After I finished stuffing and sewing together all the giraffes, I realized I wanted to do more. Cutting out animal shapes, stuffing them with cotton, and sewing them together was something very simple that didn't tire me out and kept me from thinking too hard about how many days I have left until my daughter's birth. Since then, I've been working on making animals to give to my older daughter when her sister is born. I didn't start this project because I am a super thoughtful, crafty mom - I started it because I just have to keep doing something! (Although I'm really liking the results of my desperation.)
Trying to live as if one is "on vacation" can keep you going even during those times when just getting out of bed every morning is a battle. Knowing that the day ahead holds more than just the usual routine can be a big motivation. Tomorrow I can concentrate on thinking about how I still have fifteen days left until I'm no longer pregnant, or I can focus on the fact that I'll be busy having a good time at the aquarium. Life is not always fun by itself - sometimes we have to help it along in order to enjoy what we have.